


all that love is

by izzieee



Series: love is [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Translation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-24
Updated: 2019-09-24
Packaged: 2020-10-27 05:18:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20754977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/izzieee/pseuds/izzieee
Summary: He unconsciously learned that love depended on trials and challenges. That love was obstructed, complex and painful.But Hinata's love, was so pure and unpretentious. She asked for nothing in return, no matter how much he was willing to give. Although for a long time he was not even aware of this love. Or rather, he couldn't understand it.Because it was explicit, affordable, simple. Because it was so honest and so pure and so uncomplicated that it just couldn't be. Who would love him like that?





	all that love is

**Author's Note:**

> this is a translation of a brazilian-portuguese fanfiction. forgive me for any errors, it's hard to translate from pt to eng, especially since english is not my first language.
> 
> there's a lot of good naruhina fanfics out here :) this is actually a multi-chapter fic sooo if you want more please tell me so i'll do my best to translate

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"Naruto, it's enough. Go home. You’ve been feeling bad for days." Iruka scolded him.

“Iruka...”

“Don't come up with excuses. You’re burning, you must have a fever. If you don't want to go to the hospital, go rest.”

“OK, fine.” Naruto surrendered.

Naruto smiled as conflictingly as possible. Smiling came easy when he was with Iruka, whom he considered a father. But at the same time, he felt distressed, disharmonious, over the top.

Iruka changed his smile a little, though he still had a soft countenance.

“Disregarding your physical state...Is everything okay, Naruto?” He asked, so low that Naruto could have imagined it.

_I don’t know._

“I'm great!” Naruto forced his usual enthusiasm with an upright posture and that stupid smile.

_It was always alright._

Iruka stared at him so intensely that he felt his stomach turn over. He was his sensei, the person who took care of him before anyone else, the person who knew every phase and nuance of who he was.

_The person who knew he was lying._

"It's fine if you're not." Iruka put a hand on Naruto's shoulder and Naruto felt himself wilting, dropping a weight. "I will never charge you anything, Naruto. Never.”

“I know. Thank you, Iruka.”

“You're welcome, son.” "Son" was a form that the older ones referred to the younger, especially in the sensei position. But Naruto knew that this one was more than just a greeting. He felt his heart tighten. “Go home to rest. Take care.”

“You too.” He smiled one last time before seeing Iruka turn down the street.

Naruto sighed. Some people waved at him and he answered mechanically. He always wanted that attention and now he had. _So why did he feel terrible?_ It wasn't the fever, or the headache, or the strangely sore muscles, or the pounding heart. Or it wasn’t only that.

Naruto headed for his apartment, realizing but choosing to ignore his fans who followed him between giggles. The first time he realized he had fans besides Konohamaru, he was surprised. Then he went directly to brag in front of Sakura and Shikamaru, who simply rolled their eyes. Now he felt out of place.

Two extremes. To think of the child marked with something beyond his control, with a demon imprisoned in his body, receiving unkind looks and hurtful words. And now, a young adult, a hero, receiving looks and words that deified him. He was thrown from the ground to the sun overnight, as if it were nothing. But now he couldn’t breathe.

He reached his door, and noticed that his hands were shaking._ What's happening to me?_ He saved the village and fought gods. Why did he feel like a scam now? Why couldn't he feel good?

He patted his cheek lightly. Get it together.

Before he could move, the door opened on it’s own. He was alarmed.

In front of him stood a gasping Hinata, wide-eyed and paralyzed in the middle of her action.

She wore a long-sleeved blouse with another short-sleeved blouse on top, both in different shades of lilac. Her skirt was long to the feet and dark purple, which made it appear that the girl was a little taller than she really was.

He blinked several times in surprise. She continued to stare with her pearly eyes, unsure of what to say.

"Naruto, I'm sorry." She bowed quickly, bending her body. Which was funny considering their non-formal relationship. "I came to visit you as we had agreed and well ... Your door was open and you were not here. Which by the way is very dangerous.“ She frowned a little, as if worried by the sudden thought of Naruto's carelessness. “And I ended up going in and doing something for you to eat...I decided to wait, but it took you so long that I fell asleep on the couch. Sorry, I didn't mean to be invasive.”

She twisted her fingers now, looking away. It was true that she was startled to notice Naruto's open and empty apartment and decided to check it out. He had told her she could go whenever she wanted, but it was something else to be there without him.

She didn’t slept the night before. Her father had summoned her for an unfriendly conversation about her place in the clan. She held her sobs and the burning nose and eyes all night long.

She couldn't turn down the soft couch from a place that made her feel safe. Safer than her home.

Hinata was startled when her boyfriend's arms grabbed her waist and pulled her close to his body. It took Hinata only a few seconds to return the hug and wrap her hands around Naruto's neck, though she had to stretch a little because he was so tall. Or she too small. Or both.

Naruto adjusted his head on his girlfriend's neck. She was so small. He lifted her a little and she clung even more to him.

“Naruto!” Her voice sounded annoyed, but she was smiling.

He smiled even more.

It was hard to describe how he felt. He still felt as unworthy as before. What made him deserve the attention, consideration, and affection of an entire village? And especially Hinata's? What did he do to deserve anything from her?

He had friends. He had affection. He had love. But it seemed that everything came with a price, a proof. Save a village. Win a war. Destroy yourself emotionally and physically to save_ friends_ who tried to kill you. Learn to control a demon you never asked to have. Monitor your reactions and mannerisms so that others do not feel uncomfortable with your explosive personality. Be funny and nice all the time, because no one has time to empathize with someone else's tragedy.

He unconsciously learned that love depended on trials and challenges. That was obstructed, complex and painful.

But Hinata's love, like Iruka's, was so pure and unpretentious. She asked for nothing in return, no matter how much he was willing to give. Although for a long time he was not even aware of this love. Or rather, he couldn't understand it.

Because it was explicit, affordable, simple. Because it was so honest and so pure and so uncomplicated that it just couldn't be. Who would love him like that?

“Naruto.” He had set her down but was still clinging to her waist. He didn't want to move. He didn't trust his muscles when his heart beat so tight against his chest. - Baby?

He pressed his fingers to the back of her back, not too tightly, just a reflex. His heart ached to hear Hinata refer to him like that.

“Hina.” He whispered against her neck and felt her shiver. He loved how her body reacted to simple contact. He felt more power with her than on any battlefield. “I love you”

He had said it before. Oftentimes. Many, many times. And it was never enough. Because that was the person who supported him when he didn't even realize it. The woman who defended him and harbored nothing but the most genuine feeling he would ever know. The woman who almost died for him. Who threw herself into a fight knowing she would die to defend him when everyone put the weight on his shoulders. No demonstration of love would be enough to compete.

She smiled, and that smile was all he needed all his life without knowing.

“I know.” She moved a little away from his body, just enough to kiss his chin.

"Kiss me on the lips, woman."

He only heard his girlfriend's laugh before he actually kissed her, holding her cheek and letting out a little moan as she opened her mouth to deepen the kiss while holding his shirt.

He realized they were outside. He walked away reluctantly.

“Lets go in.” He stood with his forehead pressed to hers, watching the pale hands gripping his shirt. To what end was she so adorable?

She nodded and they crawled inside.

As soon as she closed the door, he grabbed her around the waist, this time her back to him, and kissed her neck. She cringed like a cat and braced her hands over his.

"Naruto...You're hot." She turned her neck a little, looking worried.

“I'm always hot.” He joked, kissing the girl's cheek.

She seemed not to hear.

She wriggled out of her boyfriend's arms, making him roll his eyes a little. He still felt numb, miserable, deserving of nothing in the world. But when his hands and mouth were on Hinata, it was easy to forget anything.

She came back with his first aid box - which Sakura had simply forced him to keep. He rolled his eyes further, finding it all a little dramatic. But it wasn't annoying, he was just a little embarrassed to receive such attention and kindness.

"Take off your shirt."

He raised his eyebrows.

“Wow, Hinata. So straightforward.” He smiled mercilessly, removing the shirt.

“I...I didn't mean it like that!” He was shirtless now and was staring at her, amused. She was so red.

She brought a thermometer down his arm and pressed to keep him still, then sat on one of his thighs.

Naruto swallowed hard as he tried to think of something cruel and horrible. Like Sakura shouting at him. Anything not to think about throwing Hinata back on the couch and making her moan his name for the rest of the day.

She took off the thermometer and made a face that would be comical if it wasn't worrying.

"You have a fever." She reached for the blond strands, stroking lightly. “I'll make soup, all right? I don't know if it will help, but at least you love to eat. In the meantime take this. ”She handed him a glass with the unlit label and small pink pills inside. “And go to bed.”

"I'd rather go to bed with you." He said teasingly, but if she just wanted to hug him, fine. He just wanted to touch her.

“I'll go after preparing your soup. Go. And take your medicine.” She pushed his shoulder slightly, rising and heading toward the kitchen.

He leaned his head against the couch and watched her walk away, her skirt fluttering. She was beautiful, a deity, an angel, something so much better than he deserved.

He got up and went into the bedroom, only then turning off thoughts about Hinata and noticing how he felt weak, exhausted and tired. He didn't feel like the ninja he claimed to be. He felt broken.

He laid back and fell asleep faster than he could tell.

[...]

He felt a shock in his body and jerked up, feeling his shoulder muscles sting. He could now feel his whole body emanate heat. It seemed a little like the feeling of releasing Kurama, but without the sheer force, but with a weakness that made him look like a sack of potatoes.

He realized by opening his eyes that the shock had occurred from the cold hands resting on his abdomen. Cold little hands.

He stared at Hinata.

“Have I scared you?” She spoke so quietly. He always felt his world slowing down with her. Everything lasted longer and made more sense. “Sorry. You were talking in your sleep. I thought you were delirious.”

“Uh?” He asked, stunned. He had less headache, probably the effect of the medicine.

“Are you feeling better?”

“Ah yes. Thank you, Hina.” He smiled a little, straightening up and rubbing his forehead. It was so strange to be so weakened by a fever when he was one of the strongest shinobi in the world.

“Good”. She rested her hands gently on his shoulders and kissed his cheek. Then his nose, his forehead, his eyelids. Then his lips. One, two, three times.

Naruto felt his throat close. The feeling from before invaded him with everything. _I don't deserve any of this._

"Do you still want your soup?"

Her face was so close to his. She was so beautiful. Her eyes were so expressive, they seemed to have a heavenly glow that contrasted with the sun. She was so small, she looked so fragile, but she had strong muscles and power that could make anyone kneel. Not that she needed much to make Naruto kneel.

“I want you.” He pulled Hinata to him, kissing her and pulling her body over his. She liked being on top and he liked her there.

“Naru...” She tried to formulate through kisses. “Naruto, please.” He backed away then, staring at her worried.

“What happened? Did i do something wrong?”

"No, of course not," She soon reassured him. “I'm just ... I'm worried. I never saw you like this. How do you feel? What can I do?”

She looked so distressed. Her face was pained, as if she was the one to have a sore body and a troubled mind. As if she felt everything he felt.

He hated to see that. He hated to see her crying, suffering, in pain. He felt like tearing each and every person that ever made her feel anything bad, including himself.

He cupped her thighs, stroking under her long skirt, and feeling her skin soft and cold. It was so good to be able to touch her and see her return with the heat of her body, her goose bumps, her moans, her expressions. It was so good to be the overseer of it all. Be responsible for Hinata's pleasure.

“Naruto?” She still expected an answer.

“Why do you love me?” He blurted out at last. He closed his eyes for a few seconds, feeling his breathing fail. "What did I do to deserve you?"

Hinata looked confused and a little sad. He felt angry at himself for opening his mouth.

“W-Why?” She rarely stuttered now. He felt a thousand times worse for it. "You...Don't you want me to love you?"

“No! Hina, no. My God, no. I want you to love me. I’ve said I love you, didn't I? But I do not understand—“

“Naruto.” She put her hands on his chest and met his eyes. He swallowed hard. “You ... You always deserved love. I'm not talking about mine. I'm talking about love in general. From birth...you deserved love.”

He felt his breathing heavy and it was hard to face Hinata when she looked so intense.

“You not receiving it is...coward. All the people who denied and neglected you are absurd.” She looked angry. Not with him. “You were a child who did nothing wrong. That didn’t choose your destiny. That needed love. And even when you were denied this...You...Do you remember defending me? When were we younger?”

"Yes." Naruto couldn't say more than that.

“You didn't know me. You went through bad things like me. No one taught you to be anything. But you chose to be kind.” She smiled. “You were always kind. Always gave more love than received. He took your pain and kept it to himself and didn't pour it on other people. You always deserved love, Naruto. You have always deserved absolutely all the good the world has to offer. It is not a matter of deserving it. Love is not deserved, it is created. And you created so much...It's impossible for me not to give back.”

Naruto felt his eyes sting and closed them. He pursed his lips and pressed his hands against Hinata's waist. He felt the room too small to contain everything he felt.

Tears streamed down his cheek.

Hinata kissed his tears, laying on him. She put her hands to his face, caressing, and wiping the tears. Her mouth approached his ear and she whispered:_ I love you, I love you, I love you._

Now he was sobbing. He remembered crying like this many times, in dozens of situations with lots of different people. But he didn’t remember being held like that, having all that love for free.

He clung to Hinata as she whispered in his ear and spread soft kisses on his cheek.

When he calmed down and felt his breathing normalize, Hinata lay beside him, her hand on his waist and her lips on his neck.

He felt peace. As if he had opened his chest and shown everything inside, both literally and figuratively. What was once his biggest fear. He used to have nightmares where he admitted that he felt pain, resentment, hurt, fear. People turned their backs and abandoned him with all their bitterness.

But not here, in this reality. He was loved. Deserving of all the love he received. He smiled, tears drying on his face.

"Thank you, Hina."

**Author's Note:**

> nardo,,,,let me marry your wife,,,,please,


End file.
